Thursday, November 27, 2008

The Hand That Holds No More

This is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die
But it's over
Just hear this and then I'll go
You gave me more to live for
More than you'll ever know

Last Goodbye, Jeff Buckley

November 27, 2008. With the aid of Vodka Ice and SanMig Light, I finally had the courage to tell The Tamblot that I want to discontinue whatever it is that we have. These were the words I said: This will be the last time that we'll be together. Please don't contact me again. I want to move on and I can't do that if we keep on seeing each other.

I was holding his face and I was looking into his eyes while saying these. It took so much effort to control my voice so the raging emotions inside wouldn't show. I kissed him, then I closed my eyes and basked in the scent that I've come to love these past three years. When he hugged me, I took to memory even the littlest details of how it felt like having him so close. I didn't look back as I left. How could I? I was desperately fighting the tears that were threatening to fall. I didn't want him to see me crying lest he see just how affected I was.

Darn. I hate goodbyes.

I'll miss The Tamblot, that's for sure. I'll miss his hugs, his kisses, his corny jokes, his laughter, and the scent that's uniquely his. I'll miss touching his oily face and his equally oily hair. I'll miss talking to him and I'll miss the feel of his hand holding mine.

Nonetheless, I will stand by my decision. I love him but it's high time I love myself more.


Yona said...

Sa mga makabasa ani, pasensya na sa amards. Hehe.. Babae lng po..

Dhon said...

i do not view this as drama lola..
instead i admire your courage and for being brave!
if ever you need to talk about this! you know were my station is located..

Kid A said...

And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on...

-U2, "Walk On"

JAbbeRed ONiON said...

reng, i cried when i saw this post. way binuang reng!!!

i wish i had the same courage. ako puro lang ko storya, but mubalik ra gihapon sa agi.

storya niya ta.

sway6teen said...

when things go wrong.. ay naay wolfgang ig razorback te!! carry on!!!!argh duty ko.. and dili drama. dili.